How do you start a relationship?

Sally:

In today’s society, many high school students feel pressured to be in a relationship. It seems that getting a significant other is an expectation once you enter high school created by movies and TV shows, but forcing yourself into a relationship is not the best idea. In my opinion, the best relationships come when they are unexpected.

Remember that building a strong relationship must have a foundation, such as a strong friendship. Becoming comfortable with the person is the best way to learn if there could potentially be a romantic relationship. Find out their favorite things to do on the weekend, their music taste and what their family life is like. Any strong relationship starts with a strong foundation.

In many circumstances, the hardest part of starting a romantic relationship is moving out of the friendzone. If you are reading this and think, “well Sally, this is not helping. I have a crush on my best friend, so I have a strong foundation but I am stuck,” then the best thing to do is to take some risks. The most important part of any relationship is communication. I am not telling you to go and confess your love, but rather ask to hang out one-on-one or sit a little closer to them next time you are watching a movie. Any small gesture can communicate feelings and have them start thinking of you differently.

Being in a relationship is exciting and can be a blast with the right person. Instead of rushing into a relationship just because of the need to be in one can be awkward and not fun for either one of you. I understand the want, but sometimes the you can like the idea of the relationship more than the actual relationship itself.

To summarize, the best relationships come unexpectedly, don’t force something just because you like the idea of it.     

Steve:

Like Sally said, a good starting point for any relationship, romantic or platonic, is a common foundation. People notice when you notice them, so try taking an interest in what they’re passionate about and start conversations that way. It conveys not only that you listen to what they have to say, but also that you are willing to extend yourself out to the them. It makes them feel important and gives them the opportunity to make the next move, whether that be seeing a movie, hanging out together with friends or just talking more often.

But remember, the foundation of any healthy, reciprocal relationship, as cliche as it sounds, is honesty. If you take this approach, make sure to not lose sight of what you love in trying to learn more about what they love. It’s not wrong to develop new parts of your personality as you take on a relationship, but if you find that you are changing integral parts of your own personality to accommodate the person, then maybe it’s not the best fit.  

It’s not wrong to want to be in a relationship. The need for connection is totally normal, so much so that Abraham Maslow included them on the third tier of his famous five-tiered hierarchy of needs. By being truly, genuinely interested in the person you want to be in a relationship with, you begin to foster a connection that they will notice. And if they are just as interested in you as you are in them, that connection will come back to you and serve you both equally.

To summarize, reach out a little, be interested in them and, as dumb as it sounds, don’t forget to stay true to yourself.