How do you flirt?

SALLY

Before we delve into the art of flirting, lets start with a definition. The non-official definition of flirting is speaking and acting in a way that presents yourself to someone in a better or sexier form than you are, in hopes of increasing your own attractiveness and getting their attention romantically. Flirting can be expressed through many different actions. There’s the well known “if a boy is mean to me it means he likes me,” the “the more people I beat up, the more I’ll impress her” or the horrid “the stupider I act the more he will be attracted to me.”

It’s easy to spot girls and boys with terrible styles of flirting. They often stand awkwardly, fidget, laugh too hard at their own jokes, or in general put so much effort on a conversation that it feels like a conversation with that weird aunt that you haven’t talked to in eight years. And nobody likes those types of talks, especially with someone you may not be attracted to in the first place.

Currently, the most common form of flirting could be pinpointed down to the amount of punctuation or emoticons in a text or online conversation. That’s sad to say, but to receive a smiley face from someone can feel equivalent to a hair blowing, eyelash batting, or sensual wave. And a wink face feels like all three combined, with a possible winning lottery ticket included. You get one of those, and you can consider the flirting stage over because you’ve already scored.

Although digital flirting is often less nerve wracking and easier, when executed perfectly, in person flirting can be the best weapon. The best way to flirt is just be as friendly as possible without being creepy and to try and bring out the best in yourself. It’s easy with a lack of conversation topics to complain about a common topic such as “oh my god how annoying is…”, but find it in your will power to be better than that. And never, never, NEVER lower your IQ to impress them. It’s not respectable at a school like Menlo, and it’s not respectable anywhere. Sure they might be laughing at how “cute” your stupidity is, but I promise he’s laughing at you, not with you.

A happy person is someone that others are drawn to, so a positive outlook makes you seem more fun than you probably are. Treat the other person like a good friend, without getting too comfortable, and you’re less likely to cause an awkward situation that causes both parties to cringe at the thought of speaking again.

Sincerely,

Sally

STEVE

The key to flirting is confidence. The people who aren’t as confident tend to stumble or don’t believe in themselves and make key mistakes, and this can lead to that awkward silence between two people that is never fun. As you might have noticed, many who are successful in the romantic world are also confident. Confidence comes natural to some people, and it also varies in level. I am not talking about “king of the world confidence,” yet being overly confident is better than having no confidence.

If you have someone you are going after, it might help to practice to get comfortable. Every person seems to have their unique skill in flirting, whether it be getting numbers, cracking well-timed jokes, or being a great conversationalist. I am not talking about practicing pick up lines in your mirror, because I personally think those are more funny than effective. I mean, telling someone “If a fat man puts you in a bag, don’t worry, I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas” will be more creepy than sweet. It honestly comes down to just being casual and not over thinking the conversation with the person you are into.

It would also help to maybe know something about the person before you attempt conversation. I am not talking about hours of research where you attempt to break down his or her personality to find out what she likes best through Facebook and Instagram, because this has happened before. And even if you do decide that is the best road, please don’t take notes and let anyone else see them. I think a more regular way would be casually asking someone who might know him or her better so that you have something to fall back onto if awkward silence begins to loom.

Imagine being able to consistently channel the level of confidence you have when you look in the mirror on one of your good days. You know the feeling where you are nodding your head and smiling at the mirror? Yes. That feeling. Flirting would be so much easier if you could direct this confidence into the conversation, because I believe people are attracted to confidence. Sure-minded people give off a vibe that is attractive to many.

Do not stress about flirting or being nervous. You are just getting to know them better. If you want to take it further than flirting with a friend, you can judge that when necessary. Just be confident and casual, and you will be your best.