“My significant other cheated on me, what should I do?”

Sally:

Oh my. I am really sorry, I can’t imagine how hurt you must be feeling. Since this is an issue that is different for each person, it is really hard to give advice.

First, you need to have an open conversation with your significant other about what happened. There will probably be many apologies, but it is up to your judgment if he/she is genuine. Once again, it is different for each person. Having someone accidently hook up with someone else while under the influence of a substance is a lot different than your significant other having a long time secret relationship with someone else. Because there are so many different factors in play, an honest conversation with your significant other is the best way to make sure that you fully understand the details of what happened.

Beyond this, the best advice I can offer is that you should only get back together with them if you honestly can get beyond what happened. If you are going to use this against them whenever they do something else wrong, the relationship will never be the same. It will also be hurtful for you to harbor this situation, and ruin your self-confidence because of it. However, I have known individuals to fully forgive the cheater, stayed together with him/her, and maintained a healthy relationship for a long time after the incident.

Bottom line: If you can look yourself in the mirror and agree to 100 percent forgive them and stay together, then do it. But if you plan to stay with them under new rules and with a foundation of hurt and a lack of trust, it will end up hurting you both more than walking away originally would have.
 

Steve:

Oh that’s nasty. Definitely dump them, unless you only care about looks (and they are hot of course). But if you are at least a decent human being and care about character, then teach not only the cheater a lesson, but make a public statement that cheating is not okay. Stand up for yourself and search for something better.

If you try to break up with them, and they beg you to stay, understand that you will be played again. Additionally if you get back with them you will seem weak and whipped on a person who “gets around,” and nobody wants that. So, if you know what’s good, break it off as soon as possible.

Sincerely,
Steve