What should I do when my significant other gets into college?

Sally:

If your significant other hasn’t already found out/decided where he/she is going to college, this week and next week are big for them. Most decisions come out this week and next, so this is a time that causes many seniors to be anxious. A duty for you, as their significant other, is to keep them calm. Whether you are in the same grade or not, the looming idea of college causes couples a lot of stress around the idea of breaking up or figuring out how to stay together. But, this week is not the time to think about that. I know it must be hard to keep that idea off your mind while your significant other is getting into college, so here are some tips. Additionally, here are some tips if you and your significant other are both seniors and applied to the same college.

No matter what, be supportive. It doesn’t matter if you like the school that he or she applied to. If he/she gets in, it is your job to be the best cheerleader that you can be. This is such a huge moment for them, so make sure to congratulate them and give them all the attention and credit that they deserve, no matter what your deeper feelings toward it might be. Know how hard they worked for this moment, and help them enjoy it by celebrating with and for them.

Similarly, if they do not get in- be supportive. He/she is going to be very disappointed and might not want to talk about it much, but a simple reminder that it is only one school and whatever is meant to be will be will go a long way. Keep their head up and let them know that getting rejected from one school is not the end of the world. In fact, it could be a good thing down the road.

If you are both seniors and applied to the same school, be considerate. If you both got in, congratulations! That is an awesome moment for you both, and even more awesome that you can celebrate together. If you got in and he/she didn’t, celebrate with your other friends and family, but try not to talk about it much with your significant other. In time he/she will be supportive and happy for you, but at that moment it might be too raw of a wound. If you did not get in and he/she did, try to remember to be happy for them. Although it is a bummer for you, remember how much you care about them and want them to be happy, so tell them how proud you are of them.

All in all: be considerate and supportive.

Sincerely,
Sally
 

Steve:

College. That elusive idea of what you are to become after leaving Menlo for the last time. For underclassmen, it is a far-off thought, an obsession maybe. For seniors, especially now, it is REALITY. Frat parties, girls, guys, dorms, collegiate sports, eternal freedom. Now, let’s digress from the future of borderline alcoholism in the name of bonding, and talk about college acceptances. How should you talk to your girlfriend or boyfriend when they get into college? Like in the past, we’ll split this one up into senior-senior and senior-underclassmen relationships.

In a senior-senior relationship, college is the near reality for both parties, a likely divergence for a little while. In the overwhelming probability that you will not be going to the same college as your “other,” you must look at the situation practically. Talk about leaving for different colleges and accept that you will naturally meet new people and foster new relationships. With this, congratulate your girlfriend/boyfriend and feel happy for them, genuinely. To be honest, in the grand scheme of things, you will have most likely been just a high school boyfriend/girlfriend and nothing else. Accept this and move on.

For senior-non-senior relationships, this might be a little weirder, like watching the Step Brothers bathroom scene with your parents. Because someone is off to college and the other is not, it will feel as if you are moving to bigger and better places. This is basically true. Don’t worry, the other person is sure to follow shortly. An underclassman should react with excitement and curiosity about the college acceptance. You are next my friend, whether you like it or not.

In both situations, stay close to your girlfriend/boyfriend as you never know what may happen. Don’t be burning down bridges that don’t need to be burned down. Good luck!

Sincerely,
Steve