If you’re in love with someone, and they don’t know, how do you tell them?

Sally:

For starters, I wish I could alter the first part of this question to “if you think you’re in love with someone.” In today’s society, claiming that you’re in love with someone is a phrase that is thrown around all too lightly. How can you know that you’re already in love with a person if you’re not close enough for them to be able to tell that you are?

The best way to do this is to go with honesty. Tell the person that you have something you want to talk to them about, and do it in person. Whether you want to do this through a big romantic gesture or just through a personal conversation, I leave up to you.

The most important thing is to think about why you want to tell them how you feel. If you want to tell them because the feelings are bubbling up inside you and you need to let them out, go for it. But, if you are expecting a reaction from them, you might be leading yourself down a path of sadness and vulnerability. Understand that hearing your feelings might come as a shock, and he or she might need some time to let it sink in. There is also the inevitable chance that he or she does not feel the same way about you, so prepare yourself for the potential of that response.

If you’re doing it for the right reasons, be honest and tell them how you feel. I know this might seem scary, but honesty is the best way to go about it. I’ll finish with one of my favorite quotes from the movie “We Bought a Zoo”: “You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.”

Sincerely,
Sally

Steve:

This is a tough one.

The key to initiating your love interest is conversation; which is much easier said than done. You could employ the kind of creepy, but not too creepy, accidentally on purpose Snapchat (i.e knowingly sending a false Snap to a person of your choice, and then following up with a quick ‘Whoops wrong person”). With a 5% success rate, this strategy is to be used only when all else fails.

If you are lucky enough to have a class with your soon B-to-be, you could always use the, ‘what was the homework again??’ line over text or Facebook. Unless this person is a stone-cold, I’m-the-only-one-getting-an-A-in-this-APUSH kind of person, you are at least guaranteed a basic conversation. From there you need to lay down the game, to quote Leonardo DiCaprio, “you have her curiosity, now you need her attention.” Start with a basic gripe, something they can relate with (i.e doesn’t the cafeteria blow), they’ll respond with “I know, the ‘vegan’ section is just a crappy loaf of whole wheat bread and some hummus.” And the rest is history.

If you can build up a solid conversation over the next few weeks, it is time to take things to the next level. For the men out there, ask her if she wants to grab lunch, or if you can’t drive her to lunch, wait until you’re old enough to drive before you profess your love because you’re too young to have a stable relationship founded upon true feelings for one another, or go to Miyo, either one works. Assuming all goes well, and you don’t run over her family’s dog while dropping her off at her house–Spot you will be missed and I promise it wasn’t my fault–start to slowly steer the conversations towards your feelings. And when the time is right, profess your love, it’s that simple. No Shakespearian “I doth do declare my undying affection,” just the tried and true, “I love you like a fat kid loves cake.” And only then will she understand how deep your feelings are for her.

Good luck, and farewell. The treacherous friend zone is nigh, tread carefully lest you fall into its pitiless depths. May your banter be witty and may the conversation never be awkward. Godspeed my young warrior, remember your fallen brethren.

Sincerely,
Steve