Q: My friend has a hot sibling. What do I do?

Sally:

Ah, yes. You’re hanging out at your friend’s house, maybe going hot-tubbing, and boom. You see him. He’s so cute – but uh oh, he’s your friend’s brother. What do you do?

The first important thing to keep in mind is the age gap. Please, stay away from someone that is any more than 3 years older or younger than you. That’s just going to be awkward, inappropriate, and honestly just downright creepy.

Secondly, the most important thing is to talk to your friend. Don’t flirt with him, talk to him in any way more than friends, or do anything until you have talked to your friend about how you feel. A simple “Yo, would it be weird if I told you that your brother is hot? What would you think about us?” goes a long way. I’ve heard too many stories of friendships being ruined because a sibling and a sibling’s friend start doing things behind the sibling’s back. It will lead to hurt feelings because, I promise, she will find out.

If you have talked to your friend about the possibility of you liking her sibling, and she says that it would make her uncomfortable, STAY AWAY! Depending on how good of friends you are with her, it is not worth it to wreck that relationship by going for the sibling. And regardless, why would you want to be with someone if you knew going into it that you and his sister would be on bad terms because of it? There are plenty of fish in the sea, so if she’s uncomfortable, find another fish.

If your friend is comfortable with the idea, go for it. But try to do it in a respectful way- make sure that your friendship with her continues to remain unchanged by the fact that you’re hanging out with her brother. The last thing you want to do is make her feel like you’re choosing him over her, or worse, making her feel like you were only ever friends with her in order to get to him. Make sure she knows how you feel and how important she is to you, and spend quality alone time with each of them to make sure you are keeping both relationships healthy.

Sincerely,
Sally

Steve:

You see a very attractive girl walking across the quad, you turn to your friend to ask her name, oh horror of horrors it’s your friend’s sister! You have two options. First, run and never look back. You could shave your head and join a Buddhist monastery and spend your days constructing sand mandalas and praying to Buddha to forgive you of your sins. Or you could deflect impending doom with a quick one-liner, “no I meant the other girl walking with her. Of course I know that she’s your sister!” This one little tip will save you oodles of potential embarrassment and potentially prevent the most awkward conversation you will ever have with your friend.

However, if you do feel a cosmic connection with this friend’s sibling (for lack of a better word they will be referred to as friblings) it’s important to not be shady. Tip-toeing around your friends house at 11 PM in the hopes of pulling a Romeo and Juliet will only end with you getting caught and having to engage in some awkward cock-and-bull story about the experiment you are conducting on the soil pH of the surrounding area for environmental science, which we both know he won’t believe. And if you don’t get the cops called on you for trespassing, you can kiss your friendship, and any shot with the fribling you once had, goodbye.

Honesty is always the best policy in all relationships. Be straight up and ask your friend if he minds you taking the fribling out to lunch one day. If he flips out and threatens to emasculate you with some rusty garden shears, then at least you know that the fribling is a No-Fly-Zone. Additionally, do not do anything that you will regret (i.e run the risk and decide to fly in the face of your friends wishes and pursue the fribling). There are plenty of girls out there, why do you have to go and pick the only one that is blood related to one of your friends!

TL;DR Use your noggin’. Don’t be sketchier than that janky ropes course they forced us to do on the Senior retreat. Just like the ropes course, friblings may look awesome from a distance, but once you actually engage with one they turn about to be terrifying. Do the world a favor, don’t mess with friblings.

Sincerely,
Steve