Q: How should I deal with a significant other who wants to hang out all the time?

Sally:

This is a problem that a large amount of high school students actually deal with. We’re in high school, we’re all busy, and relationships can be like an extra curricular activity. However, this is what a lot of students spend their time doing. It makes it hard when your boyfriend wants to spend more time with you than you can devote to him. You don’t want to never spend time with him, but you can’t always spend as much time as he would like you to. To deal with this, here are a few tips.

First, realize that even if they don’t feel like it, high school relationships are usually a short-term thing. I know there are a few exceptions, but still – you guys can be meant to be and get married without having spent every waking moment of your teenage years together. Unlike your relationship, your grades will last you forever. As will a lot of your friendships, and your relationship with family. Because of this, it’s important to put your time where it matters the most.

Another thing to think about is the fact that if you don’t spend an unbelievable amount of time together, this will make the time that you do spend together that much better.

Be honest. Talk to him about why you can’t spend as much time with him as he wants you to. If he’s boyfriend worth having, he will understand. If you really love someone, then you want nothing more than to see him/her succeed, and if spending more time doing your homework or doing other things is the way to do this, so be it. If he doesn’t understand and is controlling of your time, get rid of him. Boom, now you’ve got lots of free time and you got rid of a boyfriend that’s not worth having.

TL;DR: Be in control of your own time, and don’t devote more time than you should to this relationship. You’ve got other things to do, and they’re probably more important.

Sincerely,
Sally

Steve:

College apps are fast approaching, and like a deer caught in the headlights of a trans-continental big rig, you have resigned yourself to your impending demise. With the utter helplessness of a skier marveling at the massive avalanche about to consume him, you have so much work to do that the only rational course of action is to watch another episode of Bachelor in Paradise and shovel some more General Kwons down your pie hole. And to add to this melting pot of tear-stained-onesies and late night Tin Pot runs, your significant other wants to spend more time together.

So to answer this question we need to examine the fleeting nature of highschool relationships. Highschool relationships are, for the most part, very short lived. Choosing which college to go to on the other hand is a potentially life altering decision. Is it worth spending an average of two hours more per day with your significant other at the expense of working on that Common App essay about that one time you did that one thing to help those endangered indigenous people in that one impoverished country? Absolutely not! Tell her that she is absolutely batty and that you are physically incapable of hanging out more until your college apps are in. Explain to her that both of you have work to do, and now is not the time to ramp up the relationship. As someone famous probably said, “work hard, play harder.”

TL;DR: Common App and Chill. Spend some nights at home working on your essays together, don’t waste your time painting some crumby mug at Color-Me-Mine; she, and that mug, aren’t worth sacrificing the quality of your college apps for.

Sincerely,
Steve