Q: What to do if someone wants on to your significant other?

Sally:

Ah. You’ve got your significant other, and then there’s someone else trying to add himself or herself into the situation here. This is downright awkward. To deal with this, here are a few things you can do.

Firstly, be critical of what exactly you think you’re observing. Is it just that your significant other is hanging out with someone else? To avoid coming off as clingy and over-protective, make sure that you actually have reason to think that a third party is trying to intrude. If it’s not a legit case, you’ll be the one left looking creepy and over-protective. Definitely not what you want.

Secondly, talk to your significant other. Maybe he or she has some insight on the situation and could better explain what exactly is going on. Maybe he’s been texting her a lot because he actually wants advice to go for her friend—you might not know what’s really up, so it’s better to talk about it. Tell her or him that it makes you uncomfortable that someone is pursing him or her. If he or she is friends with that person, suggest that he/she has a conversation establishing the fact that they are just friends.

If that doesn’t work, this is when you can step in. Definitely keep things friendly, and in a very mature way talk to him/her about why you’d appreciate it if he/she gave your significant other a little bit of space.

But the bottom line is that you need to trust in your significant other. If he or she is faithful to you and acts according to that, no one else really matters.

TL;DR: Observe. Talk it out. Let him or her try to deal with it, but then maturely step in.

Sincerely,
Sally

Steve:

Oh dear, someone is trying to get with your significant other, what do you do? A small part of me is in favor of simply letting your fists do the talking in an epic center-quad grudge match worthy of World Star Hip Hop. And whilst laying the beat down on some scrub (Fight Club?? More like Knight Club, ahahahaha… get me out of here they have me trapped in the Journo room writing a relationship advice column full of bad puns that no one reads and yet everyone seems to really care about #FREESTEVE) may seem like the most satisfying/direct course of action, let’s not do anything we will regret when the College Admissions process rolls around.

But, the pacifist in me says that we can solve this problem like civilized humans. Start off by evaluating your relationship with your significant other. If your significant other is unhappy, and is using this other guy as an indirect way to tell you that it’s time to move on then save yourself some embarrassment by not confronting him. If your significant other is just friends with this other guy then there is no need to step in, don’t be that super over-protective boyfriend, just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean you have the power to restrict who she hangs out with. And finally if she wants this guy to stop spamming her Instagram DM’s then you need to step in and have a quick chat. Establish a few boundaries by gently reminding him that she is in fact YOUR significant other and should not be subjected to tepid Snapchat game and cringe pickup lines.

TL;DR: Qualify your relationship with your significant other. (Send help. Still trapped. Starting to lose hope)

Sincerely,
Steve