Q: I have to meet my SO’s parents. What do I do?

Sally:

It is officially the holiday season. And you know what that means – lots of family time. With family time comes a mix of family and friend time, and this might mean that it’s about time for you to meet your SO’s parents. This could be in the form of a family dinner that you are invited to, a holiday party, or simply even a few minute introduction at your SO’s house.

This is a scary part of every relationship. Your SO’s parents mean a lot to them, and your SO means a lot to you –it’s understandable for you to be a little bit nervous about it. But I promise, DON’T freak out! Here are some tips to get you through this.

Firstly, be confident. It comes off very clearly when someone is really nervous or really shy. Be confident in what you say and who you are. However, be careful not to be overly obnoxious.

Secondly, make sure to engage your SO’s parents in conversation. Don’t only talk to your SO –maybe talk about some things you’re doing over break, ask them what they’re up to for the holidays, etc.

Above all- be kind and grateful. You are in their house and are lucky enough to spend time with their kid, so make sure to be courteous and kind.

If it doesn’t go well, don’t worry. It’s true that you only have once chance to make a first impression, but don’t stress too much if it doesn’t go well. It’s not the end all be all.

TL;DR: Be confident, friendly, kind, and grateful.

Sincerely,
Sally

Steve:

Sound the alarm, toll the bells, the day of reckoning is upon you! I hope that you have been making regular ritualistic sacrifices to the Bablyonian God of Parental Interactions as it seems that your SO wants you to meet their family this holiday break. To help you through this harrowing ordeal I have compiled a list of the Do’s and Don’ts in the hopes of saving at least one relationship from the fiery pits of parental disapproval.

Do’s:

Talk about school. I know that this can get extremely boring extremely quickly, but it’s better to exhibit the personality traits of a wilted three day old latke that’s been left sitting on the kitchen counter top than say something racy or offensive. Stick to familiar waters, now is not the time nor place to be spouting your tinfoil hat theory about the insurmountable evidence that PROVES that Elvis assassinated JFK with the help of Barney and the Beatles.

Dress to impress. I hate when people say this as I am a firm believer that your external appearance is secondary to the true merits of your internal self, but still don’t dress slovenly. Shave, and throw on a nice pair of khakis and a polo. Make sure it looks like you care and didn’t stumble in off the street from some Avril Lavigne concert (you may think that your streaked guyliner, frosted tips and fake piercings look good but your SO’s mom will throw you out quicker than you can Sk8er Boi).
Exercise basic human civility.

Don’ts:

Don’t play frisbee with their priceless China. I understand that everyone feels the all-consuming need to toss a disc around once in a while, make sure to control these urges by getting in a vigorous frisbee session 10-12 hours before the actual encounter lest you start tossing around Grandma’s precious porcelain.

Don’t talk about politics without doing your research as to the political climate of the household. Waltzing into a house with gun racks on the walls, mounted deer heads and a complete collection of Nascar collectible sippy cups may not be the best place to air your firm belief that you are, “ready to feel the BERN.” Vice versa if your SO’s house is adorned with Moroccan prayer beads hanging from every door, frass (it may save water but I’d rather be in a drought than catch tetanus from that dank grass that’s never been washed) and organic kale chips keep your beliefs about Marco Rubio to yourself.

Don’t make jokes about the art on the walls. This is the certified fastest way to get in your SO’s mother’s bad books. Even though it may look like someone gave Wall-E mescaline, put him in a tumble dryer and then handed him a paint brush, remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Good luck my friends stick to my list and you should re-emerge relatively unscathed, hopefully!

TL;DR: Be civil, be engaged, don’t make fun of the trippy contemporary robot art on the walls and most of all TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES WHEN ENTER THE HOUSE. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE FOR TRACKING MUD ALL ABOUT THE PLACE. THIS IS A DWELLING NOT A SOCCER PITCH.

Sincerely,
Steve