Q: What to do if your significant other is being too controlling?

Sally:

First of all, there are a few ways to tell if your significant other is being too controlling. Some telltale signs would be if your S.O. is restricting your ability to hang out with your friends, family, or spend personal time doing the things you love. Having a significant other shouldn’t mean that you are forced to give up aspects of your life that are important to you.

If you find that your significant other is being too controlling, there are multiple things you can do about it. Firstly, talk to them about it. Perhaps they are unaware of how controlling they are being, and if you politely confront them about how their actions make you feel it is possible that they will compromise and take a few steps back. At the very least, they might explain why they act the way that they do, and this might give you some explanation about what is going on in their head.

If you’ve talked to him/her about it and things don’t improve, the best thing might be to take a step away from the relationship for a bit. Maybe reconciling things in a bit of time would give your relationship the bit of space that you’d need in order to start the relationship over it with better accommodations on what is too controlling.

TL;DR: Asses the situation, get some space, and if that’s not possible – drop it.

Sincerely,
Sally

Steve:

She never allows you to go somewhere without location services on, she won’t let you see your friends and texting members of the opposite gender is equivalent to playing Hurling in a Fine-bone China Shop. If these situations don’t seem to implausible then you might want to reevaluate the controlling relationship that you may find yourself in.

You know that you like her, or at least you thought you did in the beginning, but ever since you two have made things official she has gone from toing the line of insanity to leaping bodily over the line into the territory of summoning imaginary dragons in the night. Everything is about her, and what you are doing to make sure that she is happy and satisfied. This isn’t a relationship. A good relationship is like milk and cookies. Milk, delicious on its own, cookies, divine to the brink of ridiculousness, cookies and milk, mana from heaven sent by the Lord on High SchafeGod himself. You are the milk and she is the cookies, apart you are lovely, together you are truly something special (at least that’s what you thought until she ruthlessly murdered your priceless Tamagotchi in cold blood after you forgot to pick up boba tea for her). Enough of the convoluted extended metaphors, what I’m trying to say is that at the end of the day you don’t need to be in a controlling relationship. And if you don’t know if you are currently in one, ask any of your friends, they are more than likely to have been frantically peddling the rumor mill regarding your relationship for the past 6 months.

If you do find that your relationship has soured and now borders on toxic, sit down and demand a conversation. Plant your feet, stand your ground, present plenty of evidence, and weather the Shittake mushroom storm heading down the pike. Whilst it may be awkward to have this discussion, it’s even more awkward to be spending time in a loveless relationship that is making you feel like an unwanted piece of refuse. Ultimately, you have to not only love her, but love the way that she makes you feel, and if you think that her behavior has quenched the Spark, its time to move on.

TL;DR: She brutalized your NeoPets because you were giving them more attention than her, she stabbed your favorite stuffed teddy bear with a rusty garden trowel because you claim it’s a better cuddler, she’s crazy and she’s controlling. Talk to her, evaluate why she feels the need to keep you under lock and key, and if she can’t stop, drop her.
 

Sincerely,

Steve