After a year filled with sound relationship advice, Steve and Sally are finally ready to reveal themselves and leave us with their final remarks. Read on below and scroll to the bottom of the page to see the real faces behind our beloved Steve and Sally.  

Sally:

When I first started high school, I didn’t think that this was where I’d end up. I didn’t think that I’d have as many relationships as I’ve had throughout high school, both long and short, and I definitely didn’t think I’d be writing this relationship advice column.

Boys have brought me a multitude of feelings throughout the past four years: annoyance, curiosity, heartbreak, sadness, comfort, great happiness, and even love. Every relationship that I’ve been in has taught me lots about that person, but more importantly it has taught me a lot about myself. In some cases, figuring out what you don’t want is more helpful than finding out what you do.

My general thoughts on high school relationships are that they are worth the time and effort. Sure, it’s incredibly unlikely that you will marry someone you dated in high school. However, that doesn’t mean it isn’t worthwhile. From personal experience, I’ve had both ends of the spectrum. I’ve known what it’s like to be with someone who maybe at another point in my life I could see myself marrying. But I’ve also been with people where we both know that it’s headed nowhere, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t fun right now. It’s just like the quote: he doesn’t have to be Mr. Right to be Mr. Right Now.

High school relationships are filled with nerves, new experiences, and a lot of previously inexperienced feelings. That’s exactly why they’re something to try out. Even if it ends with a bit of sadness or confusion, they’re experiences that we’re better off having had. One of my favorite quotes of all time is “Maybe life isn’t about avoiding the bruises. Maybe it’s about collecting the scars to prove we showed up for it.”

At the end of the day I’m a firm believer that, as cliché as it sounds, life is short. In life and in love, try everything that you can. Meet as many people as you can, go on dates that scare you, don’t be afraid to be honest, and do things that make yourself happy.

And secondly, as weird as this may sound, you don’t need to take any of my advice. It’s your life: your triumphs, your failures, your decisions.

TL;DR: Love yourself, love others, but remember that some walks you need to take alone. Find what brings you joy.

Sincerely,
Sally

Steve:

“Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend, you have been the one, been the one for me,” sorry that was such a BLUNT intro (the day I stop making crappy puns is the day I will lop my toes off with a garden hoe). So, I was sitting at home thinking about what little nugget of wisdom I want to leave you with, and I came to the realization that I have nothing to offer you. Quite literally nothing I can say has not been splashed across the pages of Cosmo in between poorly worded advice columns regarding the best ways to spice up your love life using common household items.

Alack, I don’t want to leave you with completely nothing, I owe you at least some awkward fumblings about the importance of high school relationships. So here goes, four years of high school relationships condensed into one soundbite. The harder you look for love the more elusive it becomes. It took me until my senior year to realize that I was trying so desperately to fall in love, and ended up merely worrying myself sick. I know that this article will probably devolve into some soppy rant worthy of the pages of Seventeen magazine, but stay with me. Love is like cookies and milk. A cookie alone is lovely. Milk alone is lovely, as long as you don’t think about how it was in the titty of an animal a few days before. When you mix the two together you get a whole new experience, the milk elevates the cookie which in turn re-elevates the milk (think to forklifts simultaneously lifting each other into the sky). This is love. Individually you and your significant other are lovely humans, I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt reader because I’m feeling nice today, but together you two, or three depending if you roll like that, are lovely. You are the Ben to their Jerry, the Edgar Allen to their Poe, the Lion and the Witch, to their Wardrobe, together you are majestic. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are not. Take every opportunity to tell them that you love them, and how much you appreciate them.

High school relationships tend to be fleeting. Don’t let the impending specter of college prevent you from forming a meaningful relationship with someone. Having functional relationships is a skill, and like all skills requires practice. So if nothing else revel in the knowledge that your High school sweet heart can teach you lessons that you will carry with you for the rest of your life. And who knows, maybe you will stick together, it’s by no means unheard of. I don’t know how to end this properly so here’s a quote to cover up my inadequacies as a writer. “My life is brilliant. My love is pure. I saw an angel. Of that I’m sure…” whoops haha am I getting confused again, must have been the BLUNT force trauma I received in yesterday’s lacrosse game. LAUGH ON PAIN OF DEATH YOU FOOLISH IGNORAMI.

Actually though, here is the quote I want to leave you with, “It’s time to say goodbye, but I think goodbyes are sad and I’d much rather say hello. Hello to a new adventure.” Thanks for the memories and genuinely thanks for taking the time to read these, I hoped they made you laugh or by some grace of Yahweh actually helped.

TL;DR: I have passed on the reigns to another competent Steve, he, much like myself, reads Cosmo religiously. You will be in safe hands, fret not Menlo school.

Sincerely,

Steve

Thank you Lucy Heneghan (Sally) and Rory Plewman (Steve) for an amazing year!