How can I be less awkward around someone I like?

Sally:

Being awkward around the guy you like comes with the territory. For some reason, when that gorgeous guy you’ve spent an entire year staring at during English class suddenly decides to talk to you, you forget how to form words and just sit there babbling about anything and everything you think he might be somewhat interested in in a language that sounds like a Swedish woman having a stroke (or is that just me?). However, you aren’t a lost cause; there are ways to cope with this irrational panic and actually talk to your crush like a functional human being.

My first piece of advice is just to slow down. As someone who tends to talk faster to try and get rid of the awkward, I can tell you that this exponentially increases the likelihood of saying something stupid. This isn’t like your APUSH DBQ where you just blurt out anything you know about everything like a psycho and hope that some of it is important. Instead it’s better to focus on things they’ll be interested in. Would you make a Catholic priest joke to a couple from South Carolina? No, you wouldn’t. You have to take your audience into consideration and take care to neither wildly offend or bore your crush to death.

The most important part is keeping calm. Your pulse may start racing and your palms might start to sweat, but you have no real reason to be nervous. Your crush is just another awkward, acne-ridden, anxious adolescent. Those words should become your mantra because they’re true. Your crush, while they may seem like they have it together, is just as big of a mess as you. We’ve all had our humiliating moments in front of our crushes and while some of us seem to have an easier time than others, nobody really knows what they’re doing.

All you need is twenty seconds of real courage to start that conversation and then the rest is easy. If you fall flat on your face (literally or figuratively — I’ve done both), play it off like it was all part of the plan and they won’t know the difference. Most importantly, just be yourself. If they don’t like you for you, you’ll be a terrible couple anyways. Stay awkward, my friends.

TL;DR: Act like you were born on this planet and know how to interact with humans and you’ll be as well-off as anyone else. If you should fail, consider joining a convent.

Steve:

If you’re like me, seeing the person you like puts you at a new level of awkwardness; you’re silent with random bursts of terrible jokes and obvious comments. The other day I was sitting in college counseling and this girl I like came up to me and asked if I had done a homework assignment yet. In a voice that simulated what drunk sims sound like, I exploded with, “NO I HAVEN’T I AM DOING IT DURING LUNCH.” Then, all of the caffeine-deprived ASR students glared at me and my cringey interaction and I wanted to melt right there and be absorbed into the carpet, never to be seen again.

Literally nothing I say will make talking to other people easier. I’ve learned that the best way to become comfortable around the people that make us the most nervous is to have a friend there with you. Bringing a wingman (or woman) can keep conversation flowing, even after you’ve said something awkward in a reactionary attempt to make conversation. Friends can break the barriers or even just get the other person to recognize your existence.

If that doesn’t work and your friend ends up doing all the talking while you mouth-breath while staring behind their shoulder, then go the sleuth method. If you don’t already follow their Instagram or are friends with them on Facebook, make that happen. Don’t go psycho and like every post from ever and force them to get a restraining order against you. Just like their stuff. Trust me, people notice when you like their posts or photos so it’s a weird teenage way to tell THEM you’re noticing what they do.

If you’re too awkward to even do that, then perhaps you’re not ready for a relationship. Obviously, I’m not you, but if speaking in a group or even online is hard then maybe put relationships on the backburner until you feel comfortable speaking out loud. It’d probably be good to just be friendly with your crush and, when you’re older and wiser, try again.

Life is hard. Love is hard. We’re all figuring this out through our hormone driven sweaty heads, and being awkward is who we are so stop being mad about it and just be yourself. If they don’t like your awkwardness then screw them and come to SMASH club with Sir Charles Wetherell (PSA I’m not a member but I want to join). Video games are better than people anyways.

TL;DR: If you’re awkward, try bringing a friend or like their social media or if that’s hard become a hermit and live the rest of your life with cats.

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