Note: This story is the fourth in an eight-part package about the Menlo community and the LGBTQ+ experience. It also appeared in the December 2020 47.2 print edition of The Coat of Arms.

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Junior Jack Rosenberg first came out to his family when he was an eighth grader at Menlo Middle School. Rosenberg sent his parents a text on the bus on the way to school, telling them that he was bisexual. “I had a math test [after that], so I was not able to look at my phone, which was a bit stressful,” Rosenberg said.

Rosenberg texted his parents telling them that he was “bi,” a shorthand term for bisexual. They didn’t completely understand this abbreviation at first, and Rosenberg had to explain that he meant he was bisexual, meaning that he was attracted to both men and women. “They were really supportive, [and] I’m super grateful for them,” Rosenberg said.

Although at first he thought he was bisexual, it took Rosenberg about a year to realize that he doesn’t have attraction toward women, and he currently identifies as gay.

Rosenberg emphasizes that he genuinely believed that he was bisexual and was not trying to use that identity as a sort of stepping stone. “I didn’t want to perpetuate the stereotype of bisexuality being a phase because that’s a misconception a lot of people who do identify as bisexual face when coming out,” Rosenberg said.

The first people Rosenberg came out to, prior to his family, were a few of his friends at Menlo. He sent messages to individual friends whom he trusted in order to tell them. Rosenberg used the app Snapchat to come out to his friends because the app sends notifications when screenshots are taken. “Because I’d come out to my friends before I came out to my parents, I was afraid of what might happen, [and] I didn’t want anyone to spread anything,” Rosenberg said, explaining that it was an extra precaution that he felt he needed to take.

Rosenberg said that the best way to react if someone comes out to you is by voicing your support of them. “Obviously, there’s no ideal [reaction] for every single person,” Rosenberg said. “I’d say the best thing that someone can do is say ‘thank you for telling me; I’m glad you are able to trust me and confide in me.’”

Rosenberg said that there is no need to be too ceremonious or overaggressive. “Chances are that person really had to work up to tell you that,” Rosenberg said.

Rosenberg first began questioning his sexual identity when he was a seventh grader at Menlo. “Looking back now, I feel like it’s kind of obvious,” Rosenberg said. However, before Rosenberg began questioning, he had been called gay by people in an accusatory tone. “At the time, I had no concept of what sexuality was, so I just took it as an insult, and I was really offended because I just didn’t know that I was,” he said.

Over time, Rosenberg’s reaction to people calling him gay has changed. “It just became like if someone [called me gay,] it wasn’t an insult. Just living as me and not wanting to deny it is empowering,” Rosenberg said.