Following incidents last spring in which two Upper School students were expelled for using discriminatory language, Menlo administrators have taken measures to maintain the “culture of kindness, trust, and belonging” outlined in Menlo’s newly-updated values.
After 20 years with the same Mission and Values statement, the school elected to rewrite its values over the course of the 2024-25 school year. Members of the senior administration thought it necessary to reformat and update the existing values to clarify expectations around student behavior. Some notable changes include emphasizing Menlo’s commitment to “ethical behavior” and dedication to a “caring community centered around connection, growth, and well-being.”
Aside from rewriting the school’s values, which hang in each Menlo classroom, the administration has also worked to spread awareness of the impact of discriminatory language and racist behavior throughout the community. “We need students to feel like they belong,” Head of School Than Healy said. “It’s the foundation on which everything else rests.”
According to Healy, fostering a community that doesn’t accept the use of bigoted language is essential to creating the welcoming atmosphere to which Menlo strives. “If we don’t have that trust, if we don’t have that respect, if we don’t have a sense of kindness on our campus, then we don’t have anything,” Healy said.
So far, the administration has taken a variety of steps to spread awareness about the issue to students, parents and faculty members. These initiatives have included sending emails out regarding specific instances of unacceptable language and attempting to educate community members about how to respond when they witness discriminatory language. In addition, the administration has used and will continue to use Student Life time to explain its consequences and impacts, the most notable example of the latter being Healy’s address to the Upper School on Jan. 6, 2025.
In his address, Healy outlined his vision for the school — a place where students feel included and safe. He hopes that through his remarks, he inspired students to work toward the community he described. “If you’re not standing up against it, you’re condoning it,” Healy said.
Director of Student Belonging Carmen Borbón echoed Healy and other senior administrators, saying that no matter how hard the administration tries to eliminate the use of harmful language, it’s ultimately up to Menlo students to stand up to their peers when they hear bigoted language being used. “We can’t police kids. So kids need to realize that it’s not okay [to use discriminatory language] and just be better,” she said. Borbón advises students who hear harmful language to report the incident to an adult.
However, over the past year, issues with the use of bigoted language on sports teams in particular, have persisted. In response, the Athletics Department has strived to eliminate the use of such language within its teams, most notably through a “Sports Can Battle Racism” workshop for the Knights Leadership Council, which was held on Feb. 2. A similar professional development opportunity was also held for coaches. Director of Athletics Earl Koberlein believes that solving this issue will require an ongoing effort from faculty, parents and students. “Discriminatory language or actions have no place at Menlo,” he said.
Senior and varsity boys basketball captain Tate Cohen is a part of the Knights Leadership Council. Cohen believes the increased focus on eliminating discriminatory language helps students realize the impact that their words can have, not only on individuals but the community as a whole. “We need to be more aware of our actions,” he said.
Upper School Assistant Director Adam Gelb believes the reason so few incidents are reported to the administration is because of the potential social consequences of coming forward. Healy agrees and points to social media as a contributing factor to the social consequences students face when turning in a peer for using discriminatory language, describing how easily rumors can be spread with the use of social media platforms. However, Healy believes that by not reporting incidents and standing up against bigoted language, the practice of using that language will continue to be normalized.
Borbón also holds social media, specifically how our current political climate is portrayed on social media, responsible for why students continue using bigoted language. According to Borbón, when students see our political leaders calling each other derogatory names on social media, they are desensitized to the impact of such language on the individuals receiving it.
Much like Gelb, junior Sulia Gayle believes the reason so few students stand up to peers using discriminatory language is because of the social repercussions. “People think it’s worse to be the snitch than to be the racist person,” Gayle said. According to Gayle, the current community at Menlo fails to socially ostracize students who use derogatory terms. In her opinion, students who have been involved in incidents using discriminatory language still maintain their close circle of friends and are generally perceived the same way as before the incident.
Members of the administration recognize that having inappropriate language on campus leads to a culture where students feel unsafe. “When you are sitting in a room with students who are having an experience that is less than [what Menlo wants for them], it is a big deal,” Gelb said.
In an effort to assist these students, Borbón conducted a Black student retreat last fall, in which she said students were able to have a facilitated conversation about their experiences hearing discriminatory language and heal from the harm they experienced last spring.
Gayle, who attended the retreat, believes that it was engaging but was not enough to erase the pain Black students like her experience when hearing derogatory terms used on campus. Gayle thinks that it is difficult for the majority of the Menlo community to understand what it feels like to hear discriminatory language targeted at them, which contributes to a lack of initiative on behalf of the student body to solve the problem. “It hurts,” she said.
