What are some do’s and don’ts while you’re in a relationship?
In order to answer this question, Steve and Sally compiled 5 relationship do’s and don’ts.
SALLY
Don’ts
1. Don’t change- At the start of your relationship, your boyfriend/girlfriend wanted to date you for who you were at that time, so don’t change. It’s common that at the start of a relationship, people will start acting different than they had before then. Treat them as your friend still, because that’s what they are, and don’t think that you have power over their every action just because you’re dating. You’re dating them, you’re not owning them.
2. Don’t pretend you’re closer than you are- In the beginning of a relationship, there is no need to pretend that you have been dating them your whole life, because you haven’t. There is no need to say “oh that’s so classic of you” or drop the L word when you’re still only getting to know this person in a new light.
3. Don’t lose your friends- There should be an equal amount of time spent between your bffs and your bf/gf. Nobody likes that person that ditches their friends the instant they are in a relationship. Once the relationship ends, those people aren’t going to be so pumped to take you back under their wing after knowing you’d leave them in a heartbeat for someone you’re interested in romantically. Make sure you show your friends that they mean more to you than that.
4. Don’t obsessively post pictures of you two or post on their wall. People know you’re dating. You don’t need to rub it in our faces that you’re getting breakfast together–we simply don’t care.
5. Don’t talk or brag about your significant other to other people- There is absolutoly no need to tell all your friends, and people who aren’t even your friends, all the details on every little thing he/she says or does. If you’re pulling out your phone and saying “just look at these texts,” you’re doing something very wrong. A relationship should be private, not public.
Do’s:
1. Hang out with them!- That seems obvious, but just because you all of a sudden have a title with them, that shouldnt mean that you become nervous around them. Don’t avoid them or refrain from saying things that you used to with the excuse of “omg he/she will think I’m weird”. They’re dating you, they already know you’re weird.
2. Be extra considerate- The little things go along way. If you have a free, or even if you don’t, it’s a great way to show someone you’re thinking about them with a Starbucks. Simple as that.
3. Ask them about their day- In your time spent apart, chances are something noteworthy happened to them over the course of the day. It’s a great start for conversation, as long as your questions aren’t pressing. Don’t ask them “how was G block?! What did you do?!;” simply keep it as short as “How was your day?”.
4. Give equal effort- For the amount of effort that they put into you, reciprocate it back for them. If he/she texts you first every time, start the conversation one day. If he/she is always the one to walk over to you at school, go out of your way for them every once and a while.
5. Relax- A relationship is meant to make your life better because you get to spend time with someone whose company you enjoy. If a relationship is only bringing stress and chaos to your life, you need to calm down. Don’t overthink little things they say or do because after all, we’re all human, and we make mistakes. Relax, remember the things you love about that person, and enjoy the relationship.
Sincerely,
Sally
STEVE
Do’s
1. Make an effort to see them. Don’t blow them off and avoid them. Hanging out in person is very important because you get to know the other person better.
2. Give the person space. Don’t be obsessive and get mad at them for little things.
3. Be funny and casual. Pretend like you are best friends.
4. Be forgiving with the other person. Don’t hold grudges, as relationships are a lot of work and being able to compromise will help make your relationship last.
5. Give them food when they are upset. Food makes everything better.
Don’ts
1. Don’t say I love you on day 2. That takes times. Seriously.
2. You are allowed to stalk them (on social media sites). However, don’t admit to or reference to stalking them on Facebook or Instagram in person.
3. Don’t just text them. Make sure you say hi and talk in person too. A “text-only” middle school relationship is garbage.
4. Don’t overdo it on the long, mushy hugs in the quad. Don’t be that couple that stands there holding each other for the whole 15 minute break.
5. Don’t hang out a lot with their best friend. That road is very, very bumpy.
Sincerely,
Steve
To submit a question to Steve and Sally for future weekly columns, please visit the following webpage that allows you to ask an anonymous question: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/QRSJT6W
