Question: I cheated. What do I do?
Sally:
First of all, let’s define what cheating means. In my opinion, cheating is doing anything that is unfaithful to the relationship you are currently in. Many people could define cheating as being overly flirty with someone else, but I draw the line when it comes to physical contact. Any kissing, touching, etc. (excluding hugging or hand holding) with someone that is not your significant other is what I define as cheating.
The absolute most important advice that I can give is that you need to be honest. No matter the situation, your significant other deserves the full story. Yes, the truth hurts, but it hurts more when the truth comes out behind lies. Be upfront, explain everything, and apologize. No matter how much you want to deny it, you are in the wrong here. Own up to it, and that’ll be the best chance you have to earn the forgiveness of your significant other and save your relationship.
Secondly, do it soon. Whatever the situation, they need to hear it from you first. Don’t let the rumor mill linger toss it around for a while; the first opportunity that seems fit, be honest and explain what happened.
Thirdly, give him some time. This is probably a very painful thing to hear, so he is most likely going to need some space from you in order to heal from it and decide where to go next. Apologize once and let them know that you understand that they may need space. Hate to break it to you, but it is in their hands now and it’s up to them how they want to deal with it.
Sincerely,
Sally
Steve:
Change the passcodes, lock the doors, sleep with one eye open, throw-out the Build-a-Bear you made on your 3 month Anniversary, you cheated on your Girlfriend! What do you do? At this point it’s a choose your own adventure.
A: Run for the hills and become a reclusive hermit living off the land.
B: Lie, and sacrifice many, many goats to each and every single deity in the hopes of staving off impending doom.
C: Deny, Deny, Deny. You are innocent till proven guilty.
D: Tell the truth, pay the Troll Toll, and face the consequences.
Choice A will give you many useful life skills, such as the growing patterns of cereal based grains, but it will be lonely and really, really boring.
B is much more exciting, but will probably end up with you in a mental institution for performing ritualistic sacrifices in your back garden (at least you’ll get to skip school and color all day!).
C is shady, and even though it may seem like the easiest course of action, it is merely kicking the can further down the road. The time that you do spend with your significant other will be tainted by the knowledge that you cheated on them, and the worry will soon become too much to bare. You will inherently want to spend less time with them, and your relationship will begin to falter. Don’t be that one guy that tries to play it off like nothing happened. Something did happen, and that’s why you are in this situation in the first place.
This is why D is the proper choice. Fess up, even if your significant other will unleash the wrath of a million suns upon your penitent soul. It is possible that your brutal honesty may provide the opportunity for your significant other to air some dirty laundry of their own. It also possible that they will never want to see you again, but it is just as likely that they may be able to see it from your perspective, and willing to work past it. Good luck, tread carefully, and take comfort in the knowledge that you will be remembered warmly by your friends and family.
TL;DR: Don’t Lie!! In the words of the esteemed love doctor Liam Neeson, “She will find you, and she will kill you.”
Sincerely,
Steve