“How do I balance spending time with my boyfriend/girlfriend and time with my friends, without either of them feeling like I’m ignoring them?”

Comic by John McNelly

Sally:

Each situation is different. I have seen cases where girls or guys take over their significant others life, and indirectly force that person to lose their friends. People begin to dislike the couple because they are so distant, and to be honest I find that really weird. I think that the way to solve this problem is to make sure that both sides have good friends that they can hang out with. Make sure you don’t rely on your significant other for all personal interaction. Be social, do things on your own, and don’t be clingy.

There are other cases where both the girl and guy get it. They understand that they don’t have to spend every second with the other to show how much they love each other. I guess it’s something a person understands or doesn’t understand. I can’t really change the way you think, but all I can say is check yourself before you force everyone away.

From a girl’s perspective, I know people who get way too attached, and force everyone else away, and the girl gets labeled as “crazy.” So I’ll keep this simple, make sure you have other people you love spending time with as much as your significant other.

Sincerely,
Sally

Steve:

The most important thing in balancing time between your boyfriend/girlfriend and friends is by just making sure they both know that you are not trying hurt either of them. Of course there are going to be times when you want to hangout with one over the other, but you have to let them know that it is nothing personal. Your boyfriend/girlfriend should understand that it is important for you to have a social life outside of them and your friends should understand that it is important for you to be romantically involved with someone. In the end you will still have time to spend with both your boyfriend/girlfriend and friends. You just have to be good about balancing your time and not make either your friends or boyfriend/girlfriend feel like you are favoring the other.

Your friends and boyfriend/girlfriend should be understanding about the situation because they obviously care a lot about you. However, if you do end up leaning in one direction, I suggest that you choose your friends over your significant other. This is nothing personal, but your friends are more likely to be there for you longer than a high school sweetheart is. I recommend trying to maintain a good balance between your romances and friends, but when it comes down to it you just have to do what is best for you.

Sincerely,
Steve