Semi’s coming; there’s a lot of stress on the quad.

How do I deal with not being asked to semi? I don’t really like anyone, but it seems that my self-worth is somehow determined by whether or not I’m carrying a bouquet of flowers home.

Sally:

I’m not going to lie, the time period before Semi Formal is stressful, and there isn’t much I can do or say that will change that. It’s an interesting balance between the girls who are dying to be asked and the guys who (for the most part) don’t care as much. Freshman year I remember being worried about semi literally two months in advance. But each year after that the stress went down. Now as a senior I see that it really isn’t that big of a deal, and doesn’t really mean anything to be asked versus not being asked.

Another aspect to think about is going to semi with a friend. I went to semi one year with an older kid I barely knew, and it really wasn’t all it is hyped up to be. It was pretty awkward actually, and I wished I had gone with one of my friends who I could just hang out with.

I wish I could tell you something that would make you realize semi isn’t everything, but it will just take time and a few more semis. You’ll realize it one day though. Just remember that it is one night of your big life, and that in time you will find someone, I promise. For all you girls out there, here’s one final tip: Boys should never dictate your self worth or happiness.

Sincerely,
Sally

Steve:

I don’t really have any method to give you for dealing with not being asked to some dance. If it matters to you that much I suggest you ask a friend to help set you up with someone, but in my opinion I don’t think you should bother. It seems like more fun to just go with a group of friends instead of a date. You get to hangout and dance with friends and don’t have to worry about all the formalities, and “acting right” in front of your date. Just let loose, be yourself, and have a great time.

For those girls out there who really think that they aren’t going to get asked, just know that it is most likely because half the guys in your grade are too awkward to do it. Maybe they’re not comfortable talking to girls yet or they are just really nervous about dances in general, but whatever the reason is just know it’s not your fault. So one solution to not getting asked is just doing a little role reversal and asking the guy instead. I guarantee you they won’t say no unless they are a complete jerk.

The last solution would be to not go to the dance at all, but to be honest that’d be kind of lame on your part. Don’t let some stupid social norm dictate whether or not you have a great time dancing and hanging out with friends. Just do your own thing and have a good time.

Sincerely,
Steve