Last Friday, the junior girls spent their evening together in the student center for the first ever “Junior Girls Event” to tackle problems of exclusion. They spent time writing letters to each other, participating in a Community Circle, and playing ice breaker activities.

Staff photo by Eliza Crowder

By Eliza Crowder & Kaitlin Baldwin

This past Friday, the majority of the junior girls spent their afternoon and evening together in the student center for the first ever “Junior Girls” night. The event took place from 5:30 pm to 9:00 pm and included a variety of activities ranging from ice-breaker games to a Community Circle to a letter-writing activity.

The event was coordinated by a group of junior leaders, including Lee Fisher, Dea Dressel, Avery King, Kate Lucas, Sam Erisman, and Emma Richart. These girls met frequently with Ms. Hodavdekar leading up to the event to plan out logistics.

The idea for the event sparked from some complaints from junior girls about feelings of exclusion from certain friend groups. “A group of students [approached] our Dean of Student Life Programs, Ms. Chen,” Junior Class Coordinator Beatriz Hodavdekar said. “This group of students wanted a way to address the issues of inclusivity in their grade and as their junior class coordinator, I was roped into the discussion. From the get-go, I’ve been incredibly impressed with their willingness to work together on issues facing their class.”

Initially, many junior girls expressed doubts about the event, especially since it was originally planned to be a sleepover in the gym. “We knew people wouldn’t show up if [the event] only consisted of super serious talks, or if it was super long and time-consuming,” Fischer said. “We tried to strike a balance but obviously, at first it didn’t work too well because nobody wanted a sleepover. Eventually people started to be more enthusiastic, but I think that there were still a lot of people who were skeptical going into the night.”

More doubts were expressed because some girls felt as though the junior grade is no different from others. “I will say that I do think cliques and issues of exclusivity exist throughout all grades; just take a walk around the quad during lunch and you’ll see what I mean,” Hodavdekar said.

However, once the sleepover portion was canceled, more girls were open to the idea of attending. The event started on a positive note when Hodavdekar recognized the junior girls’ proactiveness in addressing an issue that is relevant for nearly all grades. Hodavdekar brought up how many grades have problems with inclusion, yet the junior girls wanted to step in, make some changes, and make the most of the rest of their high school experience.

The opening activity helped reduce the tension and make junior girls more comfortable to opening up. First, the girls leading the event asked that everyone sit next to someone who’s not in their immediate friend group. This contributed to the night’s theme of inclusivity and branching out. The first activity consisted of each junior writing three facts about themselves on a notecard. Once all of the notecards were complete, Fisher read them aloud and girls were told to raise their hands and keep them raised until the statement on the card no longer applied to them. This activity helped girls realize that they actually have a lot in common with their peers.

Next up on the agenda for the night was a Community Circle-esque activity addressing cliquiness at Menlo, specifically among the junior girls. Fisher, Dressel, and King moderated the meeting by asking guiding questions. Some examples of questions include “what is your favorite memory so far at Menlo?” and “what are some specific things we can do to be more inclusive as a grade?”.

Many students would agree that the Community Circle was successful because it helped the girls open up and be more accepting of others. “[The Community Circle] was the part of the night that was the most important, and it was also the time when the committee took the most risks,” Fischer said. “We weren’t sure what was going to happen or how people would react, but everybody was extremely respectful, a lot of people opened up, and shared feelings and ideas that we never expected.” The community circle also exceeded many girls’ expectations. “I think the [activity] went really well […] I think we all were really mature in talking about issues while still keeping it lighthearted and fun […] it was a great way to bond with each other,” junior Anna Shoch said.

The following activity was letter-writing. Before the event, girls chose at least three peers whom they wanted to write letters to. They were told to pick girls who weren’t their closest friends. With cute paper and colorful pens supplied, girls rushed to the supply table to get the materials and write their letters. The letter activity was a time for girls to reflect and think about relationships that they wished to improve or strengthen. Writing letters also allowed girls to compliment peers who they admired. Once finished, juniors exchanged letters. To many girls, exchanging and reading letters was a highlight of the night. It was an intimate atmosphere and brightened many moods.

As the event approached, there were several rumors that the girls would be forced to bond and create unnatural friendships with bonding games. Yet many girls found that the event was much less serious and more of a casual time to better get to know one another. “I think we achieved our goal, which was to start a conversation and make a positive change,” Fisher said.

As for the future, the junior girls are headed in the right direction and are looking for more ideas of possible events to form closer friendships. “We don’t have anything in the works as of now,” Fisher said. “But after Friday, I think that everybody would be excited to get together again and it would probably be a more relaxed event, but still fun.” Realizing that they only a year and a half left in their high school careers, the junior girls wanted to see a change in their friendship dynamics within the grade and they are taking steps forward to work toward that goal.

Junior Lauren Chan noted that the event brought her closer to many of her peers. “The letter-writing activity and the entire junior girls hangout made me feel appreciated, supported, and so thankful for that amazing group of girls,”Chan said. “I know I will treasure those letters and memories for a long time.” 

“One of the things I wanted the girls to take away from the event is that while Menlo is happy to support them in whatever way, […the junior girls] must continue to demonstrate initiative and leadership in addressing this issue, which I am sure they will continue to do,” Hodavdekar said. “I think the most important thing for the junior girls to understand is that they took a stand and decided to do something about these issues [of exclusivity]. I’m super proud of them and I hope they inspire other grades to do the same.” After the success of the junior girls night, many juniors seem hopeful and determined to improve the inclusivity and relationships within the grade.