As prom season rolls around, students at Menlo begin planning how they’re going to ask someone to the dance. Perhaps it’s performing a dance or dressing up, but usually it ends up being a clever poster. While students may see promposals as an annual tradition, some faculty members are questioning the motivations behind the spectacle.
Upper school dance teacher and Menlo alum, Angela Curotto-Pierson (’07), thinks that promposals now seem fake. “It’s not about the person actually being asked,” Curotto-Pierson said.
Curotto-Pierson isn’t against prom asks. In fact, she fondly remembers the two promposals she received when she was a student. As a junior, her date decorated her car, and as a senior, her date waited in her room to surprise her after dance practice. What concerns her is the increasing pressure for students to make a show of it in front of an audience. “The circle is so weird to me,” she said. “It’s so much about this performance, which is why I hate it.”
Though she acknowledges that public asks can relieve pressure when they happen all at once, Curotto Pierson would still rather promposals remain private. She believes there would be less pressure if it was one-on-one and not on the same day.
English teacher Margaret Ramsey shares a similar discomfort with the public nature of the promposals. “If you already have your date and you’ve already made the ask, then why are you presenting it?” Ramsey questioned. “It just feels kind of mindless and showy.”
Ramsey emphasized that the promposal culture at the school has improved in some ways. Students now tend to check in with one another before making public asks, a shift she welcomes. “[Promposals] used to be so much worse, because they would be these big, performative things and there wasn’t the whole [tradition of asking] permission beforehand,” Ramsey said. Still, she finds the presentation puzzling. “Would you still want to do it if it wasn’t going on social media?” she asked. “Just do it and don’t film it.”
Upper School Director John Schafer has similar concerns. “I find promposals jaw-dropping to me. I understand people get into it and it’s a public event and so forth, but when I was in high school, I would’ve rather been beaten over the head with a sledgehammer than have to publicly ask someone to the prom. That would’ve mortified me,” Schafer said.
Ramsey is also concerned about the gender dynamics behind most promposals. She doesn’t like the expectation that boys have to ask and she would love to see it be a free-for-all. “If you want to have a date to prom, then ask,” Ramsey said.
While some teachers voice skepticism, others find value in creativity and effort. Administrative Assistant Courtney Tyler enjoyed seeing the Class of 2022’s promposals. “I really liked a lot of the promposals that grade. I felt like there was a lot more creativity beyond what we see currently with posters,” Tyler said.
One promposal in particular stood out to Tyler: a student coordinated a full dance number with his friends and the support of his advocate, complete with tuxedos and a performance of Justin Timberlake’s “Suit & Tie.” “That was super memorable for me,” Tyler said. “I would love to see more fun and unique ways [to ask someone to prom], whether they include a poster or not.”
Like Ramsey and Curotto-Pierson, Tyler appreciates that students usually ensure the answer will be yes before making a public gesture. She agrees that putting someone in an awkward position is never good. “The culture at Menlo is good in asking people in advance,” Tyler said.
